Fort Mill Mother Calls Triple P
"a Blessing from Heaven"
For Angie Padillo, the Triple P - Positive Parenting Program is a blessing from heaven.
"I thought parenting wouldn't be an issue for me because I've been in public education," said Padillo, 43, who works at Riverview Elementary School in Fort Mill. "I taught fifth graders for seven years, third graders for seven years, and children with special needs mainstreamed into my classroom and I've dealt with all these children. So, I felt very comfortable, but when my kids got here and started growing, it was a different situation."
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Angie Padillo and her
husband Ralph spend a day with the triplets, Amanda, Isabella and
Anthony. |
She and her husband Ralph, 40, have three 5-year-old triplets, Amanda, Anthony and Isabella. The children were born three months premature and have experienced learning delays, especially with language. That has made it difficult for the children to follow directions.
Giving clear directions was the first Triple P strategy Padillo used with her children while she was being trained in the parenting program through Riverview.
"I remember thinking during training that I give clear directions. I don't ask my kids to come to the dinner table. But, when I got home I caught myself asking, 'Guys are you ready to take a bath?' instead of, 'It's time for a bath now.' So, I thought I was doing it right, but I realized I wasn't," she said.
Padillo said she's no different than any other parent, thinking they have the skills they need but realizing they could always use some help.
"I thought I would be fine. I hadn't even thought about parenting. I thought I had it under my belt but everyday is a journey and you learn. It's a work in progress. Take baby steps day by day," she said.
Those baby steps have made a difference in how her children behave now.
"Before Triple P I used time out and I did a lot of talking which was not effective. It made me feel better but it did not change the behavior. I also did the counting, but found that I was teaching them that they didn't have to change their behavior until I get to three," she said.
The Triple P strategies she found most helpful were "start" and "stop" commands. Children are given two chances to respond to start commands when a parent wants them to behave a certain way or follow a certain instruction. However, children are only given one chance to respond to command to stop a certain behavior. A logical consequence is used for disobedience.
"That is much more effective than counting," Padillo said.
Padillo discovered, though, that one size does not fit all. One strategy that worked with one child had no affect on another child.
"The children are very different. Their personalities are completely different so what works for one doesn't work for the other," she said. "Quiet time works for Isabella and Amanda. We usually go straight to time out for Anthony, but it doesn't always work. One thing that does work for him is taking away a toy for a short period of time. I don't have to do that for the girls."
Padillo said she's seen a difference in her children since she started using Triple P.
"Whenever I'm talking I get more eye contact. Before I didn't think about yelling out instructions, but now I know I need to come to their level, look them in the eye and give an instruction. They are starting to listen. Do they always make the best choices? No. But, at least now they are making eye contact with me. Before I felt like they were just tuning out," she said.
Riverview is incorporating Triple P into their programming, presenting Triple P seminars and advice during parenting nights. Padillo is one of four staff members trained to use the parenting program. She's happy that more people will get a chance to learn about Triple P and use it.
Her advice for other parents?
"Give Triple P a try. It's working for us. We are perfect, by no means, and we've got a long way to go. It's reaffirming and it makes me feel more at peace knowing that I have some strategies and skills that I can use as a resource," she said.
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